Doctor Who Eighth Doctor Adventures 52 by Mad Dogs & Englishmen

Author:Mad Dogs & Englishmen
Format: epub

Chapter Seventeen 105 All the way into the dusty, scrubby, alarmingly steep hills, Ron Von Arnim was regaling her with film lore. As the day waned, a stiff dry breeze started up out of the desert and Anji realised that she was getting a headache. Still Von Arnim went on and on, as the old van wound around the narrow, perilous roads, one hand lightly on the steering wheel and the other gesticulating excitedly. Anji thought: I’m going to die in the Hollywood hills in 1978 with some mad old coot and a poodle on my lap. It wasn’t the kind of death for herself she’d ever envisaged. And then in 1966 they reckoned the bottom had dropped out of the monster flicks market and all the kids wanted to see were spy flicks. Well, back then I thought I was finished for good. Until they got that Russ Meyer fella to make that last Bond movie of Sean Connery’s. . . remember that one, Miss Kapoor? The one with all the living skeletons and the zombies a-coming out of the graveyards in New Orleans? Voodoo Something To Me ?’ Anji wasn’t at all sure that she remembered it. ‘Well, all those were done by me. Me in my little workshop, making those little skeleton fellas fight each other and hack off each other’s heads.’ He sighed. And after that I went straight into the monster business again, because the fantasy films had started up and that’s when I had the greatest of pleasures winning that little Oscar of mine in John Waters’s movie of The Lord of the Rings. You know, the one in drag? With Bette Davis as Sauron and Joan Crawford as Gandalf the witch?’ Anji just stared at him. What messed up kind of timeline was he living in? ‘Well, that was a big success anyway,’ the old codger grinned. ‘I sure have had some glory years in this town. And I thought they were all over. But not now. No, indeed.’ ‘Because of this John Fuchas and his poodle film?’ The old man cracked out laughing. ‘Poodle film?’ he spluttered. ‘Well, it’s gunna be a bit more spectacular than just a little doggy movie, Miss Kapoor. It’s gunna be years in the making. That John Fuchas is a genius, that boy. He’s got gazillions to spend on this project, after the success of that little picture of his about the space men and their dinky robots. And he’s hiring me. I’m gunna be in work for the rest of my life ’cause of those poodles of his.’ ‘Really,’ said Anji. ‘How come he can’t use real poodles?’ ‘Hah! Can real poodles fight? Can they talk and act? Can they sing?’ Ron Von Arnim shook his head, and sighed as if Anji didn’t know anything at all. ‘Do real poodles have hands, Miss Kapoor?’

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